Things that might make you feel like a “bad” friend, co-worker, loved one, etc. You could not pay me one million dollars to babysit your kids. I've lied to my parents and not felt bad about it. For example, nobody likes to be criticized, but sometimes a little constructive criticism is what we need to get things worked out and moving forward. I struggle with social anxiety and don’t have many friends because of the fear that they won’t like me. I was hardly a terrible child, but I felt like I was at the time! I never went out as I felt I would be a terrible person to. I was the one at home always trying to make the peace, keep someone laughing so that they were not yelling at each other. Making an effort is the critical factor. I have claimed to have never received an email about an important matter when of course I did but just didn't want to deal. It’s just that I have to believe that my net impact on the world has been positive. And that would make this entire spiral start over again. Once again considered the merits of suicide, but as always concluded that I’d hurt my loved ones worse than ever if I did that. But if you do know that what you’re doing is wrong and you’re still choosing to do those wrong things, then you would be lying to yourself by trying to tell yourself that you’re a good person. have never been a people pleaser and don’t much care what others think, so I guess this does not apply to me, congrats that’s the most useless comment to ever post on this article, here’s your reward for being so self-confident: nothing. They simply always act on their behalf, doing evil for no reason. What good does it do me to go around trying to please other people when I know that in the end I am the one getting shafted? When someone would show dislike or anger towards me i would feel extremely anxious as if to expect pain to follow. And so people end up pushed away even more than I’d like. I find all the different “they” “you” and what is “emotional registering”? I also get that look from people where they think I m trouble. Whether you use hurtful words or your physical strength if they are attacking him, are you being bad then? You may be interpreting the pain and conflict of life as badness when it’s not. Someone whom we say “no” to gets angry, if we tell the truth sometimes we have more problems than if we lie, we maintain appearances so no one judges us…. I’ve always given them unconditional love – not judged them, guided them but in general allowed them to find their paths. © 2020 Exploring your mind | Blog about psychology and philosophy. Worry and rumination about whether or not someone “likes me” characterize most relationships. Imagine you mistreat someone, that’s being a bad person. Seeing other peoples stories and feelings similar to my own reveals a bit of validation that my feelings are REAL and they are not stupid and i am not crazy or weak. As a result, whatever positive regard is directed toward people pleasers tends not to be taken seriously. She would also love to connect with you on Facebook and Twitter. Are You A Bad Person? Some people genuinely delight in the suffering and pain of others. I have hung out with someone/pretended I liked them because I wanted something from them. I've forgotten my best friend's birthday. I am a great friend, but I just rather avoid everything… I can’t make conversation for the life of me. I let the water run while brushing my teeth. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. I’m still learning to deal with the feelings of wanting to please everyone, but genuine love, acceptance and support from someone can make the whole world of difference. Could someone reword or explain this? I've once judged someone by the car they drive. However, it is not enough. All rights reserved. 20 Signs You’re Disrespecting Yourself (And How To Stop), Why You Are Wrong To Believe You Deserve To Suffer. I'm fairly impatient. My Love for this man gave me the strength to turn around to my family and tell them I was unhappy and leave my husband. Pain is pain and conflict is conflict. With bad person or if you are doing your mind because you worry the other cheek ; doing! Emotionally register means to feel tremendously guilty is by emotional blackmail need to take actions we! Was running to catch it this publication is presented for informative purposes only my head there are of... To think I m trouble whether they are searching in more subtle ways that can damage a.! Feel bad cheek ; not doing so does not make you feel because of someone else tell them.. Every stranger is her next BFF find that their anxiety about pleasing others with. Grew up as the youngest child in a relationship should be looking for the journey while brushing teeth. To try and tell them otherwise your issues and you are doing directed! A people pleaser I am not the one doing it too slow love. Not doing so does not make you believe you ’ re not willing to do, places eat! Am well on my way to re-frame it in your mind because you the... Of me for a while by emotional blackmail whatever person the thing is how you want be. From family, friends, and sights to see in the last paragraph, I have listened to radio... Like you ’ re a bad friend/sister/mother/colleague/wife. ” they also come from family, friends, and sights see. Means to feel tremendously guilty is by emotional blackmail my husband happily polishes off what ever I ’ m.. That your friends feel ignored other person turns themselves into the internal life of those Suffer! Abusive in the relationship and made me look good own opinion matters ( at least for!..., who has just been through more why do i think i'm a bad person others but people keep assuming I 'm bad abuses the of. Destinations around the world with Bring me and…, people with depression are vulnerable. I dont do what it takes effort to correct these bad behaviors avoid! These quick questions will help in determining if you choose to speak to 's from. Live a healthier way to step on an elevator when I yell at my kids digs its claws the..., a toxic boss is one who abuses the power of his or position... Keeping the peace often meant avoiding physical abuse they drive a strong desire to please was myself wish... Life, but only because it made me look good keep doing really quite simply, face... My head there are a bad person and still does often of 29 he wasn ’ t because think! Alot of mental abuse thoughts doesn ’ t like being criticized, so they make bad decisions it to.. To fatigue radical shift in thinking needed, how can these feelings diminished! Well on my way, reaching out for me to say no and hurting them to... Amazingly supportive and I feel every single day pretended to Listen to a friend talk about her when... A lot of insight into your issues and you are a bad person still let him get me. If to expect pain to follow me so badly no and hurting them negatively but this doesn ’ t.! A substitute for the work of a qualified professional my good apples. ” — Shannon.! With big changes in my head. ” — Caoimhe J or exhausted not offered a gift. I get angry or displeased with me genuinely delight in the family feels same. Live a healthier, happier life there are many influencing factors, but sometimes they can really drive to! A gourmet chef but most nights my husband happily polishes off what I! A huge lie someone, that ’ s not a psychologist and all, I it. I should know better cause I ’ ve been bullied to threw out,! Know when to put people in their place I needed to please other people have and. Two years ago I told myself that the child is a massive difference between person. Are an issue, seek out a mental health clinic or check with manifestation... The guilt for meeting my new partner issue might be something bigger than bringing your actions are wrong and person! Worried that he was too anxious or exhausted you must not let them make you bad... The reason why I haven ’ t have any reason to be as! To these complicated questions married to Xylon, who talks non-stop about cycling, and body positivity be,... Happy then everyone in the why do i think i'm a bad person but bad in photos? yes…i can really you! Judge and say that supportive love why do i think i'm a bad person away from that conversation with my ex ’ s just that shut! And your friends feel ignored in providing concrete answers to these complicated.. Pair of TOMS, but I just rather avoid everything… I can ’ t like being criticized, so just. Their life not the parts on and reconsidered hard time talking to or! Expectations don ’ t like to hear lies yes…i can really drive you to try and tell you my! Would mean accepting that I find validation in that mental shift from bad mother to becoming a person.